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Saturday, July 17, 2010

My Journey to a new relationship

I just started a new relationship. It is an amazing one. I really love this person so much that it takes a song to describe it. I thought of a great romantic song and I came up with Whitney Houston’s The Greatest Love of All.

Here is how it goes:

“I found the greatest love of all inside of me.The greatest love of all is easy to achieve. Learning to love yourself It is the greatest love of all”


Yes. I am learning to love myself (I know you were expecting me to say something else lol). It is not as easy as it seems. I must admit that it took me a great deal of courage to face...me.

I once heard a speaker say that when you seem to get stuck over and over again in some areas of your life, check up from the neck up. That is what I did recently. I took a thorough and honest look at the man in the mirror (I think Michael Jackson’s song came in handy). What I saw was not a pretty picture (but I am that bad either). There were things I had to face, and my coaches (yes I have many) helped me a lot.

Here are some of the things I found out about me. It has been really hard for me to open my heart to people around me, especially when I am facing a challenge. Being vulnerable and asking for help is not my forte. The impact is that very few people get to know the “real” me. I am a positive guy most of the time (and I don’t think I fake it), but I had to face the harsh reality that I am not Superman (I think I am close lol). It’s ok to fail, make mistakes and admit it.

As I said, letting it sink in wasn’t easy but it was even harder to admit it to people around me (especially to my coaches). I had always told them what I thought they wanted to hear, but it was not always the honest truth (I think it was my desire to look good in their eyes). However, I could not hide the results that showed up later in my life.

What else did I find? (Yes, I am opening up). I found that I am so much result driven that I forget it is all about the journey (am I really the Journeyman? Lol). And when it occurs that I don’t get the result I want, I blame it on myself and don’t communicate at all (I remember once my friends spent 3 days looking for me as I had disappeared without saying a word).

I found out a few other things, but those I just shared were the ones costing me the most. My resolution has been that something got to change. If I really want to live the life I am creating and live it fully, I have to live an open glass life and allow people to get access to the “real” me. I must accept that there is nothing wrong with me, I am who I am and I am just as fine. It is ok to be vulnerable and get my heart broken sometimes (hopefully not so often lol).

So, for the last few days, I have been on the phone or meeting people, cleaning up a few messes, asking for forgiveness for the broken promises, and I will keep doing that until all the mess is clean (at least the mess I know of lol). It is not an easy thing to do, trust me. But I really want to live a life of integrity and enjoy every bit of it. I never thought I would someday share with the world this much about my life, ever! There is always a first time for everything. You know what? It feels good already. Now I have a great relationship with myself and I am embracing and accepting the good and the not so good about me.

Moral of the story? Do you want to really fall in love with yourself? Learn to sing some romantic songs.

Always a pleasure
Patrick
The Journeyman
Pbizindavyi6@gmail.com

2 comments:

  1. Hehe.. and you're just scratching the surface! ;-)
    There's much more there to learn, but you're on the right track. ;-)

    Gabriela

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  2. Wow Patrick! Thank you for sharing very personal details of your self-discovery. You are now more of a superhero in my eyes! All superheroes have human flaws so you are in good company.

    And good for you to remember to enjoy the journey. Remember Peaceful Warrior movie!

    Emmanuel
    Motivatorman

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