There are some things I see sometimes and wished I
would have come up with the idea first. Have you ever wished you were the
creator of Facebook? How about Uber? It is something that simple and convenient
that I wished it was my idea. I wish I could sing like “The Eagles” (I know I
am old school, please bear with me) or dance like the late Michael Jackson.
It was the same feeling I had when I read Tahoy
James’ blog. I said to myself “I wished I had written this blog”. It is that well
done. I totally related to what she was sharing.
Unlike Uber, Facebook or the Eagles that I will
never have, I am glad Tahoy’s blog is being posted by…me.
Yes. Tahoy is our guest blogger this week. I hope it
won’t be the last time that you will read a piece from her.
Ladies and gentlemen, I present you Tahos James in:
“My Self -doubt”
I know you will enjoy it. Thanks again Tahoy
My Self-Doubt
Have you ever
looked at yourself in the mirror and wondered what am I doing? Or why am I not further ahead?
Well you’re not alone. Self-doubt plays on our emotions and infects the
mind.
I found myself
rethinking my entire journey up "build my own business
mountain".
I sat down
ready to work, ready to take another giant step forward, but quickly noticed
that giant step was really only ant-sized. At that moment I felt low and
defeated. I began to rethink my list of important things to do that day.
Should I be doing more? I thought, but what? What else could I be doing? I told
myself not to panic. This was a giant step; it just seemed small to me, because
after all I am my worst critic.
That helped
for all of five minutes. I then began to lose faith in myself…again. I reviewed
my work and the voice of self-doubt returned. Am I good enough? Is my work
good? Is anything I’ve done to date “good”? At that moment there was a
torrent of negative questions. Is this something I can do? Where am I going
wrong? And then finally the cherry on top... I am NOT strong enough to do this,
I have BILLS, I’m 28, and I CAN’T do this.
After a day of
pacing back-and-forth, asking myself question after question, I remembered that
I’ve been here before. This is the part of the mountain where the wind is
blowing so hard you may lose your footing, and fall off if you don’t stand firm
in all that you are.
I was happy
this day was over. I had spent the day fighting with myself, which had left me
an emotional wreck.
A few nights
later it was family movie night. Meet the Robinsons was the winner. Lewis (the
main character) wants to be a great inventor but couldn't seem to get his
inventions to work. He works day after day on a very special invention for his
school science fair and knows that it will work. At the fair he meets a boy who
says he’s from the future but Lewis thinks he’s crazy (who wouldn’t). Lewis
begins to show his invention, but something goes wrong (due to the movie’s
villain) and Lewis starts to doubt himself and doesn’t think he’s smart enough.
The young boy he met tries to talk him into trying again, but accidentally
brings Lewis to the future. Lewis is amazed by the future. He meets his future
self and finds out that he is the single reason why the future is so amazing.
Soon he starts to see how things change in the future, because he let his
self-doubt stop him from moving forward. He learns that the boy he has gotten
to know as a friend, is his future son, and he will soon not exist if Lewis
doesn’t go back, push his self-doubt aside and keep moving forward to become
the great dad and inventor he is meant to be.
The next
morning I sat in front of my laptop and started working. My mind was clear of
doubt. All I could think about was Lewis. I was Lewis. I couldn't give up; I
couldn't let one bad day determine the outcome of my future. Like Lewis, I am
the single reason why my future is so amazing.
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